Tag: well-being2

A-Z Challenge – F

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F is for “Fanatic”

My favorite sport is baseball, and growing up in the Los Angeles area, my favorite team was and still is the Dodgers. I’ve followed them, but I was never a fanatic. But a few years ago, I would listen to a game, and then get really angry when they lost. I would stress out over it when I was falling asleep even! Then, I got so disappointed in them when they got eliminated from the playoffs that I swore off baseball, and all sports. It was sort of in jest, but sort of serious. I really don’t understand how I could have that kind of emotional reaction to a team that I have no control over. It’s really weird!

But I didn’t want to feel that disappointment again, so I decided that I wouldn’t follow sports at all. I think that lasted a year or so, and then a change happened in me. I know it had something to do with when Koa started playing Little League baseball. During the first season, I would get so tense during the games, especially when the team made errors. I would get so nervous, that I didn’t even want to watch the game! I know, right? It was just like when I would watch the Dodgers!

The next season, I noticed that the kids, even if they lost, still had smiles on their faces and high-fived the other team after the game. Even though deep down I knew that winning wasn’t the most important thing about playing the game, I somehow lost sight of that. But seeing the joy on the kids’ faces made me realize that it was I who had the problem. My emotions were ridiculous! Once I realized that, my whole world (well, at least my sports world) changed. I now enjoy watching my son play the game and don’t mind the errors or strikeouts anymore. I make sure not to criticize him during the ride home after the game. I admit, I sometimes have the urge to say something, but that feeling is now minuscule compared to how it was during the first season. In fact, it’s so distant that I can see it far away… and laugh at it. What a great feeling!

The MLB season has just started, and I am watching a lot of the games. I think it will be a great season, not because I think the Dodgers will do well or win the World Series, but it will be a great season because I will enjoy the games without having the stressed-out mindset of a “fanatic”.

A-Z Challenge – E

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E is for “Everything But the Girl”

So, this post is about one of my favorite bands, but not really about them or their music. I wanted to write about how their music changed during their careers, and how that change affected me.

I first started listening to Everything But the Girl (EBTG for short) in 1984 while in high school, and they became one of my favorite bands. At that time, they were sort of jazzy, kind of new-wave… definitely not mainstream (at least in the US). I saw them perform live in 1986 when they were touring promoting their album “Baby, the Stars Shine Bright”. That album featured an orchestra and was very different from the previous. I still enjoyed it, though. The next couple albums were similar, kind of adult contemporary, but then with “Amplified Heart” they went a new direction, and then “Walking Wounded” and “Temperamental” were pretty much full-on electronic music.

That last shift was a major one, and it really sounded like a completely different band than the EBTG of the ’80s. I actually had a hard time processing that change. Not anything serious or traumatic, of course, but I had this notion that in order to be “true to yourself”, you couldn’t change like that. So, the new direction the duo took was, to me, not the true EBTG.

Maybe I was too young to realize that people change as they grow older and gain new experiences. I believed that your personality (or music in the case of EBTG) shouldn’t change, and if it did, you were selling out.

Later I read an interview with Tracey Thorn (singer from EBTG) and she said something like, “The person who sang on that album no longer exists. I am a different person. I cannot sing someone else’s songs.” I’m sure that is not the exact quote, perhaps not even close, but it is what I remember reacting to. It was a bold statement… and a bit shocking. How could she say those things about the songs that I love so much?

But now I am older, and I realize that people do change… I don’t have the exact same interests as I did when I was young… for instance, I was very into painting when I was in my teens and early 20s, and earned an Art Studio degree, but these days, I have very little interest in painting. That person who went to Art School is very different now. It was who I was at the time and I am happy I experienced that. I can’t imagine a different reality. But that person exists in the past.

I’ve also noticed that people I’ve known for a long time, who were previously so into certain things, have lost interest in those things. That’s natural and okay. No need to beat yourself up or feel guilty over evolving! (I admit feeling a little guilty when I was in my 30s that I did not paint anymore)

But isn’t it great that we can change? Wouldn’t it be terrible if we were stuck as the same person we were 20 years ago? Isn’t it best to simply accept and be happy with who are at the present moment? I believe the answer is “yes” to all three questions.

A-Z Challenge – D

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D is for “Digital Decluttering”

I am a big fan of decluttering, both physical “stuff” and digital as well. The digital version is a little different in that its goal (at least for me) is to remove the things that waste my time, or that I don’t find valuable. For instance, I used to love browsing my Facebook feed but eventually found it unfulfilling in the long run. It was entertaining sometimes but ultimately I didn’t actually learn anything from my feed and I realized that I’d rather spend my time reading, watching travel shows or photography videos, or looking at my Feedly feed, which is easier to filter down to things I am interesting in seeing. I rarely check Facebook any more, and if I do go to Facebook, I’m just following someone’s link.

As for my Instagram feed (and Flickr too), I unfollowed a lot of people who I had followed since I started using Instagram. At first I felt bad unfollowing them, but you know, tastes change over time and it’s not healthy to try to stay with interests that aren’t relevant any longer. Gotta move on at some point! But who knows, someday I might become interested in that kind of photography again and I will re-follow the same people. But it’s not something I can force… it just has to happen naturally. The point is to not hold onto things that aren’t valuable anymore.

On another level, I like to delete old bookmarks that I have never gone back to (and may even be broken). Although it seems like these bookmarks are “out-of-sight, out-of-mind”, I believe that they still take up space in my subconscious. And anyways, when I click on a bookmarks folder, having less to look through means it is easier and faster to find the bookmarks I do use.

For my devices, I recently bought a Chromebook. It’s a laptop, but it basically just runs the Chrome browser. Many people think that this limitation makes Chromebooks less valuable, but I have found that placing limits on things is liberating. What I mean is that since large programs like Photoshop or Office cannot be installed on it, the purpose of the Chromebook is straightforward, streamlined, and simple. It’s not burdened by bloatware, so the things that it can do, it does very fast. It doesn’t have to load extra programs into memory, or start up a huge OS. In fact, it boots up in just a few seconds, and the battery lasts 10 hours. It’s a great blogging machine, and wonderful for watching Netflix.

These are just a few things in which digital decluttering improves my life. It works for me, and I think decluttering might help a lot of other people simplify their digital lives, and get them valuable time back.